What Would I Do If I Were Invincible for a Day?

Watch Netflix.


And if I’m feeling up for it, I’d probably go fall down a mountain while riding a llama with teleportation powers and a sunny disposition in life. We’d end up in Las Vegas, get married, and have wild night with a living burrito we found in a dumpster. The next day I’d divorce him– he is a llama.




I’m a magic lavender coated in creative carnations, checkered with courageous cherry, streaked by serene sky, sprinkled with wise orchids and peaked by an enlightened yellow.

So I’m basically the Ke$ha form of Leonardo DiCaprio.


Spring Break

the righteous gurus of topical rain forests flaunt their precious heart valves with the bravado of warriors returning from the battle of swordfish dragons that swore their allegiance to the procrastinating beluga whales of French Canada where fat kids dressed as cockatoo and lumberjacks that cry glittering rainbow tears into rusty cans (slapped with lust!) of gold and then sing the songs of old ice cream men that speed by little children eagerly waiting with dollars crumpled in hands now faltering with heart fallen crab cake eyes.  Porpoise.